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Lana-
As you can see, what you're going thru is very common, but nonetheless really tough. I've been in therapy for a while for issues relating to the same problem you've been having. Parents inherently want better for their kids and they see each child as a second chance to fulfill their ambitions (no matter what they'll say, they do!) They view children as an extension of themselves, no less than an arm or a leg, and so their childrens' failure is theirs too, regardless of age. That's why parents wig out when their kids leave home because then they're out there and they will make mistakes. Some parents are well adjusted enough to get over it quickly and painlessly and recognize their kid's "adulthood". But some, especially those who had bad childhoods or huge disappointments, don't. Mine was one of those. I have a full ride to school,I excel in my studies, I work, I don't ask my parents for money, and I generally have a good life. But somehow it's never good enough. They verifiably expect too much out of me. I've found that what you have to do is talk to them, seriously, adult-to-adult. Make sure that your perception of their overexpectations is real and no just imagined. Assure them that you do care what they say and feel, but that you must act in your own interest. Your attitude and character will be your deciding factor in the long run. One day, maybe not anytime soon,something will happen to show them that you indeed aren't so bad after all. It's just waiting for that that's so hard. Focus on yourself and how you feel. That's what's cool about being grown up is that for the first time you can do that. Good luck sweetie!
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