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I have been alum for 5 years. I believe alumnae should certainly participate in activities and events, but remember their time as an active has come and gone (it is hard to let go, isn't it?!) Certainly alumnae are piviotal to the chapter's development in the past (also the present, and future.) However, they must realize their time in the spotlight is done. If they have a complaint or think events need to modified or changed, they should offer advice in a positive manner. Alums do not have the right to come back to their undergraduate chapter and begin putting the chapter down or making a scene. As an advisor, I truly agree with what was stated earlier - advisors are there to advise, not to demand or give ultimatums. Tom said it when he said "If there are some that come back and act like they are the Lord of The Rings, then they really don't know the True meaning of Brotherhood/Sisterhood!!" Alumnae should certainly be respected and admired, but that does not give them the right to make the undergrads feel bad. Undergrads are mostly younger and are in the process of developing their management skills and personalities. When alumnae come back and begin bashing the actives, no one wins. Alums - be sure to offer positive reinforcement (just like you would a younger sibling or child.)
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