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the one thing us Greeks can do against these sites that defame our organizations is sue for slander.
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My understanding is that truth is an absolute defense to both slander and libel. If the defendant showed that the statements were either true or substantially true, she'd win as a matter of law. ("Substantially true" means that the less-than-perfectly-true statements were no more defamatory to the organization than the truth would have been. In other words, if the "gist" or "sting" of the allegedly defamatory statement produces the same effect in the mind of the recipient as the precise truth would have produced, then the statement is "substantially true.")
So a site with genuine secrets is not defamatory. A site with false secrets would be defamatory only if it damaged the reputation of the organization in the minds of reasonable people. Unless the site claims you beat and starve the pledges, it's unlikely to meet the standard.
In any such case, btw, the defendant would almost certainly be able to subpoena GLO records if they constituted the best evidence of the truthfulness or falsity of the statements. If there's a ritual book, the judge and opposing party will see it.
As for intrafamily secret-sharing...when I was touring my father's alma mater, he told me a number of things about his fraternity initiation that made an impression on him. He wanted me to understand his experiences and who he was at that time. His fraternity (Phi Sigma Delta) no longer exists, having merged into ZBT, but I'm sure he would have told me these things even if that weren't true. Also, when I had an awful fight with other members during a secret proceeding when I was an undergrad, I cried on the phone to my mom and told her everything. She helped me through it, and I'm glad I went to her.
Ultimately, it's a personal decision whether your bond with your spouse or child outweighs your vow to the fraternity. As for me, nothing and nobody -- not even the law -- comes ahead of my family.
This is a very interesting related topic, though...I'd love to see another thread devoted to it.
Ivy