Quote:
Originally posted by breathesgelatin
I kinda suspect that some husbands and wives share their rituals... Most of the secrecy problems are probably low-key, not people trying to "out" secrets, but older members who haven't connected with their group for a while...
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Side note from a casual observer on the thread.....
My husband is involved in two private fraternities. I learned right up front there are some things you just don't ask because the answer is MYOB. Not in a bad way, just that there is a boundary that he's not crossing. He'll hand me his old pledge manual to read, and the alumni magazine. But any questions that approach profound secrets or ritual will be met w/ a whole lot of silence.
It was a little frustrating at first--that as husband and wife we are expected to share "everything" and there was a part of him that I will never see. But as a little time went on, I realized that his privacy regarding fraternity ritual gave me the freedom to keep things private too if I wanted. (I know that sounds obvious, but it really was a revelation, especially to a non-Greek.)
It was also some motivation to persue AI. He can't share his secrets with me from fraternity (and even if he did, it would be for nothing because I can not experience the brotherhood)--so the best way for me to understand that side of him is to find sisterhood for myself. So that means some sorority in the future can thank him for their new alumna (I hope!)
I like to think that the way we handled secrecy issues regarding ritual reinforces the integrity of the Greek system, as well as respecting it.
Adrienne
