[QUOTE]Originally posted by MissDiamond:
[b]To answer the original question, There isn't a dam thing wrong with black women. I am completely shocked to come in here and read some of the non-sense I see posted. I can not
FATHOM why I am the only woman that have found "Why Are Black Women Scaring Off Their Men?" to be disguting and completely chauvinistic? Contrary to what the author of this ridiculous piece or writing wants us to believe, this was, without a doubt, written by a man. I will not believe a black woman would put such self-degrading absurdity out for the world to see.
Jazbri, dear, sister...it seems that you have bought into this foolish ideology. Black women have worked too hard and too long to have the right to vote, the right to an education, the right to be equal (and potentially superior) to our male counterparts. PLEASE do not attempt to tear it all down with this kind of thinking.
Black Women, please do not lower your standard, or give up your goals and dreams so that some black men with low self-esteems, inferiority complexes and identity problems can feel better about themselves!
Sisters let's not regress! Black men make a conscious decision to date outside of their race...don't allow them or anyone else to shift the blame to us. In the words of Maya Angelou "...it has nothing to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with the other person (in this case, the black male)...your not in it...take yourself completely out of the situation." It is our job to love, respect and be there for our black men...it is not our job to keep them pleased at all costs, even if it means limiting ourselves and our personal acheivments. Go out there and get those Masters degrees and PhDs, you'll still have good black men (independent and secure within themselves) that will be right by your side. Don't worry yourselves with those who choose to date exclusively out of their race. Ladies, believe me, any black man that would do that wouldn't be worth much of your time anyway.
Forgive the long post, but I can not stand to hear black woman put themselves down like this. How can we be expected to uplift our black kings if we're not allowed to uplift ourselves first.
Jazbri, are you suggesting that maybe if Black women don't try to strive for the highest, quality eduaction and don't be so active in their communities and instead we make sure there's a big pot of collad greens and neckbones on the stove when our black men get home...maybe, just maybe we can compete with the white woman for their affections.
I don't, for a minute, think so!
And if we do sacrifice for the sake of their happiness, what are they going to sacrifice for us? WOULD they do it for us? Wake up and smell the Cappuccino's honey, this is not the way to go.
Another thought, if black men are leaving us because we're strong, independent, and goal oriented and won't tolerate being stepped on and used...........What is this saying about white women?
I welcome any and all responses.
MISSDIAMOND,
You hit the nail dead on the head. While my black sisters are making great strides in education, board rooms and in the community the role of black men is not diminished. I F E E L you! There is nothing wrong with a black woman. Instead, the question should be what's wrong with black men! Seemingly, the problem lies with the men. I don't know the answer but I do know that there are contributing factors. In ratio there are more black women then black men. Taking into account the number of black men in jailhouses, on drugs, etc. the availability of black men is unfortunately limited. Women have had no choice but to assume many of the traditional roles once guarded by men. The reality is that black men need to reaffirm their commitment to empowering themselves which include fearing God, education, and respect for themselves and others. More over, once black men black have these assurances, they need to not forget black sisters who have regardless of the situation always been their primary support system. This point is not the time nor at any point for black men to feel they need to consider dating/marring women of other races.
Post Script: I have been trying to get through this book Cream in my coffee or maybe it is Milk in my coffee (?) by Eric Jerome Dickey. Anyway, a brother haphazardly ends up dating a white women and feels guilty for dating outside his race. For the black men that do make this C H O I C E, I wonder if guilt also lerks at the back of their mind - - It certainly would for me.