All of this is true. Did anyone realize that this is almost an all female conversation?
Here we are in a frat room. ALONE
I guess I am a male basher. That is what my fiance tells me.
I just have a hard time when it comes to men and women relating because we think so differently sometimes about some subjects.
For example:
My best friend is married. Her husband was the one who really wanted to get married. (she was still in school.) Guess what, now that she has graduated he feels that his position has been threatened (he said so). She make more but she always has. He expects her to work just as long as he does then come home and cook, clean, entertain guest and then give "it" up. Recently, he came home found that she did not put away the laundry and called her a lazy f-ing b----. Then she said if it is like that (and she is the mother of his child) then maybe she sould not be his wife. So he took her keys (house car and all) and told her to leave. When she tried to get HER car keys he pushed her. The only thing that saved her was her brother heard it all and caught her. She would have hit her head on the corner of a wall. This all took place in front of their child.
I say all of this to say, she tried to yield and be supportive but his lack of accomplishment almost caused her harm.
Where do you draw the line between giving the support that is needed and stroking someones ego.
My experience has been that a lot of men need to feel superior. They need someone to look up to them as a child does to a parent. I read the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are.... The man that wrote the book said that men need to be needed but if you are too needy that is dependent and they don't like that either. They want you independent but not too independent. I don't understand.
I love black men. I want then to feel good about themselves because they are our kings. But why do I have to be made small for him to stand tall?
I want to be his queen and if I remember correctly, queens are just as loved and respected and well taken care of.
Yes, I asked my fiance but he is the same, he is good to me but let me even sound pro something female and he thinks I'm saying I don't need men. I just don't get it.
I can be supportive but I can not be subserviant.
I think some men have their head in the fifties when women did not think that they could breathe without their husband's approval. That is just not me. I can't do it just to help a man feel like he is in control. I don't want to control him but I need him to realize that he does not control me.
(When I say he/him I don't mean my fiance I just mean a man, any man)
I'm sorry that this is so long but it has been bottled up.
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Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
L.R.O.G.
#1 Fall 97
Omicron Pi