Quote:
Originally posted by PositivelyAKA:
question to the bruhs, could it be that since there are more educated etc. black women per statistics, that some of our men are intimidated by us and choose to marry women who are less independent or who are on a lower educational/economic level? men NEED to feel needed so maybe they don't feel like sisters need them.
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SisterSoror PositivelyAKA,
I agree 1920% with you, and even further it to say that we (women) may hold some share of the blame in this arena. As a successful, educated woman, it would make sense that I look for the same in a mate, right? Men are supposed to be able to "take care" of their women, right? For me, that would mean (at base) a man who is making close to six figures, has a BA +, owns his own home, single, no kids and tall, dark and handsome . And let's not forget, he must be willing to down for a long term (i.e. marriage), good relationship with his family and friends, fun, God-fearing (spiritual)...
Well, there are some good men out there who fit all the above. But there are also many good, generous men who may not be my economic or "formal" educational equal. Would you/your family/friends think less of you/him if you were to date or marry such a man? It seems that it is difficult for many of us "successful women" to give a man in that position serious consideration outside of a date or two. For example, what if he was all the above, but made $35K instead of $95K? That may make YOU, not him, the primary breadwinner. Or he had an AA degree, and you have a MA? How do you deal with these issues in the relationship? I’m interested in hearing from both the brothers and the sisters on whether a successful relationship can develop from these type of scenarios, and if so, what elements (respective personality traits, other) must be in place to enable success--or are they ultimately doomed to fail?
Best,
Shela--
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Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920