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you know you're in a black church when......
1. the ushers are wearing white gloves and extremely serious about their ushering duties.
2. when you start church at 10:30am and the pastor doesn't get done preachin' til 2pm.
3. the offering envelopes are regular envelopes that have been rubber stamped to say the name of the church.
4. when the heat is turned off in the building, but they are taking up a collection for the pastor and wife to go on vacation.
5. after you get smacked upside the head by the pastor so you can receive the holy spirit, you are down on the floor and covered with a full sheet like your dead.
6. the pastor gets served juice, water, etc. on a silver platter while you sittin' there thirsty as a mug.