Soror, this is very original. I like it! I like it!
Let me give this a try. Let me just set the scene a little bit.
Passa and his wife are fellowshiping amongst members after church. They get to Ida and Bertha....
Ida: Praize the Lawd, Passa. Yeah things is goin' good, Praize, the Lawd. Lady, you shole is got on a pretty outfit. Yeah....
Passa and Lady move on to other members. As soon as they are out of sight...
Ida: Now she KNOW dat dress too tight fo her in her condition.
Bertha: Wha' chu talkin' 'bout, Girl?
Ida: You mean to tell me dat you ain't hear?
Bertha: Hear wha'?
Ida: Now I ain't spreadin' no gossip and 'member, you ain't hear dis from me, but dey say dat Passa and First Lady gettin' ready to have dey FIF chile?
Bertha: Wha' chu say?!!!
Ida: Yeah, I was fit-to-be-tied 'bout dat too. You KNOW dey say dat olest one ain't hizun?
Bertha: Yeah, I did hear dat. Dat olest one shole don't look nuttin' like the res' of dem, ain't it? But cha know dat I been seeing how he be eyeing dat Tamika Johnson girl. You know Birdie-Mae gran...da little "hot-mama" on da Yung-adult choir who always gotta try an sho out when she leadin' the song?
Ida: Yeah, I been watchin' dem when dey be talkin'. She always be all smilin' up in Passa face and he always gotta be puttin' hiz handz on her somewhere or 'nother.
Bertha: He shole do. Dat jus a shame. Birdie-Mae need to take a switch to dat girl fo bein' so fast.
Ida: I know dat's right. If she was MY gran, I'd put da 'STENSION CORD 'round dem legs.... Well, Bertha how yo 'bersitis been doin'?
Bertha: Well, ya know it been ackin' up for a cupple dayz now... Ya know, with all dat rain we been havin' lately.... I had ta call my doctor to get my 'scription refill.
Girl, I'm really cracking up on this one. Now y'all KNOW that this is, more than likely, a typical conversation amongst SOME people (particularly the OLDER women) after church.