Quote:
Originally posted by PsychTau
Wait. . .you mean the girl you were trying to defend and stand up for (the sisterhood chair) is pissed that you were doing just that????? And instead of politely and PRIVATELY saying "Thanks, but you know, I don't need for you to do that. It's all OK" they are taking you to standards? And instead of the other sisters thinking "you know, that's really not nice for me to do. Maybe I should change my behavior", they are taking you to standards? Exactly what standard did you violate? Surely not something in your GLO's creed or purpose?
Hmmmm......you know, from what I've seen/heard/learned, the chapters that "freak out" when a member speaks to a national officer about something they do (and apparently want to 'scare you into silence') is an environment that will allow hazing to grow and prosper. (Not saying that is exactly what's happening with your chapter, but I've heard similar stories from chapters who have some 'bad' secrets they keep)
Let us know what happens.
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Well, to play devil's advocate here, I can see the chapter's POV (although going to the standards board is a big overreaction, I agree).
First, the actions described are not hazing, at least not by the NPC's standards. According to the NPC:
Hazing is defined as any action or situation with or without consent which recklessly, intentionally or unintentionally endangers the mental or physical health or safety of a student, or creates risk of injury, or causes discomfort, embarrassment, harassment or ridicule or which willfully destroys or removes public or private property for the purpose of initiation or admission into or affiliation with, or as a condition for continued membership in a chapter or colony of an NPC member fraternity.
Bad taste and offensive, yes. But unless the SC's continued membership in the GLO was conditioned on her "taking it," it wasn't hazing.
Second, I think I too would be bothered that someone shot off an e-mail without talking to people in the chapter first. An e-mail to national may be making a much bigger deal out of it than it is, and it is bringing in outside folks to what should be a chapter problem.
I would expect a sister to first talk to the SC herself and ask her whether she is bothered/offended/hurt by the comments. If she says that she is bothered, I would encourage her to say so to the sisters in question, and would offer to go with her for support if she wanted. If she did not want to say anything (and if she did not ask me to drop it), then I would say something to the other sisters involved
and to no one else, something like "I know you mean it in fun, but it really bothers sister X when you say ___. And how do you think it would sound if someone outside the chapter heard you call her those names?" If that doesn't help, then you follow appropriate channels in the chapter. Only when that doesn't work do you go outside the chapter.
On the other hand, the SC might say she is not bothered by the comments, that she knows they are meant in fun and she takes them that way. If that is the case, then you have to decide whether to let it go or whether to say something to the "offending sisters" anyway, along the lines of "SC knows you mean it in fun, you know you mean it in fun, but someone who doesn't know that might overhear you and form a bad opinion of this chapter based on that."
The bottom line is always start with the specific people involved and work your way out from them slowly when necessary.
Meanwhile MTSUGURL, I hope you will think long and hard before you depledge. It sounds like you really like and care for most of your sisters. Use this as a learning experience and work on strengthening the bonds of sisterhood in your chapter. Good luck!
