Quote:
Originally posted by bluz4
i will have to agree with the rest of your statement. my ex and i are good friends now but it took not speaking for two years and finally a sit down and talk moment. we talk a lot now even though i have a boyfriend and i have tried setting him up with friends. but i think you both have to be on the same page and if you're not, talk things out.
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DITTO, Bluz4. I agree with you TOTALLY. The EXACT same thing happened to me, except it took my ex and I almost FOUR years of not speaking before we were FINALLY able to sit down and talk about what went wrong with our relationship. By then, although HE wanted to "rekindle" our relationship, I had moved on and I was very much in love with the man that I am married to (and have TWO children with) today.
I remember him telling me, in part, (and I QUOTE) "I wasn't ready for what you were ready for at the time...". As a matter of fact, Bluz4, he's a SIGMA and he "tossed me to the curb" immediately after he went over. That was a devastating time for me. For a LONG time I blamed myself for not being able to "hold on" to him. I mean, THIS was the guy that I wanted to actually MARRY one day. Oh, I thought that maybe I wasn't skinny enough. OR my hair wasn't long enough. OR I was too country (he's from New York). But after we actually were able to be MATURE enough to talk about it and he said that ONE sentence (along with a few more
) to me and he asked about the possibility of rekindling our relationship, I realized that it wasn't MY "stuff", it was HIS. He and I have been able to have a civil relationship since then. We talked regularly for a period of time even after I graduated from undergrad. He taught me a lot...mainly the difference between LUST and LOVE. I haven't talked to him in like over 3 years now. The last time that we talked I informed him that I had married my daughter's father and that I had a new son who was about 7 WEEKS old at that time (my son is now 3 and a half years old).
Love_Spell_6, I said this just to say that it IS possible to be friends (or atleast CIVIL) with your ex. HOWEVER, there HAS TO be CLOSURE about things that went wrong in your relationship with him BEFORE that can happen. Only you and he will be able to determine if a friendship is possible.