Hey Leslie Anne -
I agree with what everyone else has said, don't give up! You do need to "decompress" after leaving school, especially if you were particularly active in your chapter or your chapter did a lot of activities. I wouldn't rule out the alum associations yet though! Plus, how long have you been in Cali? I'm from PA and one of my boyfriend's friends moved there and for a while it was really hard for him because everything is SO different.
I think the sister who took you to her chapter function meant well but at the same time I don't know what she was thinking - I would feel uncomfortable too if I went to a chapter anniversary where I didn't know a soul and everyone else was hugging and reminiscing. Don't let that turn you off.
Alum membership is a LOT different than collegiate membership - good and bad. The bad is that sometimes people blow things off and slack. But the good is you know if people are participating, they really want to be there, not just because it's a mandatory activity. The change can be a bit jarring but you just have to relax and go with the flow. I would definitely bring up splitting the associations, they should be big enough to operate but not so big they are unwelcoming.
Try going to the meeting in June and see how it goes. You never know who will show up - one of my sisters from another school turned out to be the girl who'd been sitting next to me at work for 3 months!
You never know - you could click with someone even more than you did in your collegiate years. GOOD LUCK!
[This message has been edited by 33girl (edited May 10, 2001).]