Being a recent alum, I think what has already been said is very accurate. In fact, my undergrad chapter asked me if I would be interested in being their alumni advisor for this past ('99-2000) year, and I chose to turn it down. Not because I wouldn't have
loved being around them and 'guiding', but because I didn't want them to percieve me as trying to "run things my way". I told them why I was turning it down, and that in a few years (when I don't know so many members as well) if I'm in the area I would be honored if they kept me in mind. I also told them that even though I was turning down the position, I would always be available to help out, and all they have to do is call.
I have stayed pretty close to several members, and rapport can be everything. My last year I was the VP and 'New Member Educator' (aka Plegetrainer), so many of the members were comfortable coming to me with fraternity-related matters (good, bad, and ugly) already. And building even more of a friendship with them made them all the more comfortable doing so. And at the same time, it allowed them to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Or go through difficult situations and learn from those on their own, like they (and all of us) need to do sometimes.
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SilverTurtle@greekchat.com
Phi Beta Fraternity
Phi chapter