Quote:
Originally posted by librasoul22
KappaKittyCat, so you REALLY think that there are effiminate men who are completely straight? Not disagreeing with you, just bringing it up as a point of discussion. I talked about this last week with a gay (guy) friend of mine. Considering the intense socialization that nearly forces males into this ideal of masculinity (i.e. admonishing them if they play with dolls), is it possible?
Me personally, I think it is possible for straight women to be tomboys, but I don't think it is possible for TRULY straight men (and that means men who have never questioned their own sexuality) to be effiminate. Not in this society.
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Yes, Librasoul, I
know that it's possible. I'm close friends with several. To as much of an extent that anybody can be 100% oriented to either gender, I know it exists. Now, I'm not sure that anybody can be 100% oriented to any gender, but that's my personal opinion and a topic for another thead.
Let's be clear of our definition of "effeminate" here. So many times in our society, men who are gentle, kind, emotional, sensitive, or in any way soft around the edges are assumed to be gay. The same with men who enjoy theater, art, classical music, dance, or other such things. My father told me the other day that he thought one of my friends was gay, just because he has long hair, a relatively soft handshake, and has many of those other personality traits. My friend is not gay, but that's not the point. It's the fact that such an assessment is considered fair in our society. In fact, I lean towards the notion that such a resolute push towards masculinity in American males is what caused this rash of homophobic behaviour in the first place. If it's not okay to be at all soft around the edges, then you're left with that same horrid macho behaviour that so many of us women detest. When the most minute details of our already polarized gender roles are defined, then you're left with a mold that only Barbie and Ken can fit. And even Barbie gets to go to work (albiet in the fashion industry).
But this is taking a slightly different path than I had in mind. My point is that I have very good friends who are often described as "effeminate," and all of them are straight. I also know very masculine gay men. So my point? Never assume anything anymore.
And I need to throw my lot in with Shine. Homophobic slurs offend me just as much as racial slurs.