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Soror, may God grant you peace and comfort during your time of suffering. May His sweet Holy Spirit comfort you during those times when you feel it to be impossible to be comforted.
Believe me, I have been THROUGH it. I can't say it will ever get any easier, but you will be ok, I promise you that. And like nikki1920 said, it's ok to cry in front of your son. My father BROKE DOWN on me a few times after my mother had passed. Sometimes it's the child who helps the parent, not always the other way around. After my father passed, I (to this day) wish my sister had shown some more emotion. It made me feel as though it wasn't ok for me to show any, either. It's ok, soror, it is ok, and everything is going to be ok. If there is one thing we hate to face as humans, it's that death is a part of life. But what we forget about is why we are living. Don't be so concerned with earthly life. She lives on, just in a different place. This was the most comforting thing to me after my parents passed. Someday, we'll be together.
After I'd gotten done being bitter, I started to think of things I hadn't thought about before. Like instead of asking God why He took them from me, I began to THANK HIM for the time that I had with them in the first place. See, everyone doesn't have that, and it's these relationships that we take for granted. You were blessed to have had your grandmother for as long as you did. Treasure the memories of the times that you had together, and thank God for them. This was not easy for me, and it took me years to get to this point. I don't want you to think I'm saying, oh thank God, and it's easy. It's not. But trust me, you will be SO MUCH STRONGER because of this. And I also know that this may fall on deaf ears, as I surely didn't want to hear any of this at first. But when you are really ready to listen, your spirit will remember and accept these words. I can only hope that I have comforted you in some way. Soror, if you EVER need to talk, I am only an email away. You see, all my pain was not in vain. I am a living testimony. Let me know if you need me.
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