|
huge disappointment!
I spend my time yesterday afternoon calming my nerves, picking the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, jewelry, makeup....determined to go into it with the best mindset and what happens but I am DROPPED from ADPi and AXO. Tri-Delt and AEPHI, the two on campus who invite EVERYONE back, invite me back. I was extremely upset and felt that this was so ridiculous. I never went to any of their events after I knew they weren't the place for me and they still want me? Geez, I thought they would have more respect for their chapter than to invite people who were so obviously disintersted. I know this might sound like blasphemy to some of you, and I really want to apologize if it comes ouit sounding like that but what they're doing, to me, is analogous to an ex-boyfriend that just won't go away, no matter what. *Sigh*...
So I just return to my friends' place, change my clothes, and sulk for a bit. Then they do their best to try and cheer me up. They tell me to try and do open bidding to the houses I really love later because they're sure that most houses will not make quota.
They try and get me to take my mind off of things and to go party and for awhile I put things aside and really get into the mindset of,"Hey, if they don't want me, screw them", but as the night wears on I just become more and more weary. So I end up backing out of going out and partying and go confide in one of my other friends about my disappointment. I decide to just get some rest, I'm just so tired, exhausted, and ready to throw in the towel when I receive a call at 11:30 at night. It's Stephan, the Panhellenic advisor, and he tells me,"I just wanted to let you know that because you withdrew from rush, you are not eligible for a snap bid, but you CAN do open house"
Now, let me rewind this a little bit. At the end of the night, all the girls were supposed to return to IV Theatre and mark our number 1 and number 2, or else choose neither and withdraw. My Rho Chi had told me that if I withdrew, the sororities would all get a list of who withdrew adn at that time, they could offer a snap bid, so that is what I did, with that very thought in mind. So his calling me to tell me that exact opposite really shocked the **** out of me. I had been settling down to sleep and I hear THIS?!!? Outside of my friends window I hear my other friends out on the street below and run to them and by the time I relay this info to them, I am once again a bundle of nerves. My friend walks me to her house and I just totally break down. I had finally begun to get over the rejection and disappointment, and then the call happens to ruin my night. AAAGGHH...They tell me I should tell my rho chi what the panhellenic advisor said this morning, but when I tell her, she just kind of sideswipes the issue.
In a way, I still want to do open bidding, but in a way, I think I ahould have more pride and still say screw them. If they couldnt see me as their sister then, why would they now?!?! It's just so hard to know that you went to these houses, had awesome conversations, was invited back one more round, and then you're cut and you know that the other girls who kept getting invited back had the same great conversations as you did, and were greeted with open arms every round. Is it really just luck of the draw that one day you'll end up with great rushers and the next you meet up with someone who doesnt know how to keep the convo going, and they decide it mustve been you, and that you just weren;t right simply because they didn't know what to say? And it wasn;t like I just sat there waiting for their questions, I asked just as many when given the opportunity...uugghh..I dunno..right now I'm just feeling very down in the dumps..this has been something I've wanted for so long and to have it slip through my fingers is just so heartwrenching...i dunno.
|