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As a formerly morbidly obese woman, I can attest to two things:
*A heavy person KNOWS they are heavy, you don't have to remind them.
*You never know what issues are behind the obesity, so stop judging people.
I will tell my personal story. Food, for me, was my drug, my alcohol, my cigarettes. It was and STILL IS my chosen drug of choice, an addiction. I ate to numb the pain of being abused as a child, nearly raped twice, and a social outcast. I was made to feel undesireable, thus making me hurt, so I ate to numb the pain, which made me feel bad, which caused me to eat more, which caused me to gain weight, which made me undesireable....ETC! So, as you can see, it's a vicious, painful cycle. It took me 26 YEARS to be ready to lose weight, what makes you think that just because you make a comment, that will work? It has to come from within, a place in ourselves so private and overwhelmingly personal, that only you know what trigger will set it off. For me, it was holding up a plane, making over 50 people a 1/2 hour late, becase they had to bump someone so I could fit in two seats. The humiliation and shame was all I could take. It was my wake-up call.
Obesity is usually a sign that there are deeper issues there, and the harsh, brutal treatment and judgement society feels so willing to give and thinks that for some ass backwards reason is helping, doesn't make it ANY better!
I fight with my self image everyday, because so many someones told me I wasn't anything worth their time, their love, their compassion. So, maybe that overweight girl you see coming thru recruitment is looking for friends who won't judge her, a place where she will finally feel ok. When someone becomes your friend, don't you feel a bit better about yourself? So too will she, and that may help her love herself more, start treating her body and soul with more respect, and help her lose the weight because it is unhealthy, not because society told her to.
I chose to lose weight because, just as an alcoholic who has hit bottom, I realized that my life was out of control, and I needed help. I got it. I still struggle everyday to pass up that cake, just like someone who gave up alcohol has to pass up that glass of wine. It's harder, because I HAVE to eat, my drug is in my hand 5-6 times a day.
Being heavy is made to be a sin, a crime. You are seen as a moral failure, and weight prejudice is the last acceptable form of vocal prejudice. It needs to stop. Just because a person has something about them that is different than the (illusion of a) norm, doesn't mean that there isn't beauty in them. There is, in all of us. Just as you would want someone to see in you, look for it in them. You may just see an angel looking back...
Just a quick note: when I was heavy, no one looked me in the eye. Now, people are saying I have beautiful eyes. It's probably the nicest thing about my new life....I can't stop looking into people's eyes.
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