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Carnation,
Thanks for posting this; your comments are very thought provoking. You asked, “…does this create enemies of the Greek system? Do the women ‘get over it’ and find happiness in other groups?”
I think the answers to both questions are yes. Every woman left bidless had parents that simply did not understand why their precious daughter was not extended an offer of membership, every woman left bidless had a least one friend who was still in High School and was put off by the thought of rushing when she heard of her friend’s experience, every woman left bidless had GDI friends in her dorm who’s worst suspicions of Greek life were confirmed by her experience. Maybe “enemies” is a strong word, but this situation certainly creates many people who have every right to question what is the real value of a system that can make so many unhappy (even if it’s only on Bid Day)? Many of these people never have any other experiences with Greek Life, so they are left with this one impression, and then the stereotypes.
Do these women “get over it,” the answer is yes. Is it forever a bad memory? The answer is probably yes to this too.
What is the answer to this? Honest discussions like this one, that start with recognizing that there is a problem to be addressed.
On a personal level I can see that alumnae involvement also helps enormously. I have to say that chatting and reading on GC has increased my commitment to my sorority and Panhellenic life ten-fold. Reading posts from yourself, justamom and Barbara has led me back to wanting to contribute to the organization that gave so much to me. I have learned so much here that I hope to pass on.
Hopefully other women will be also inspired and will help to address these issues through volunteering with their Sororities and Panhellenic.
violets
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