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I think maybe the reason they get "catty" or "defensive" might be because they are not used to having mixers with other sororities?
On my first campus, all the sororities did not just have mixers with the fraternities, but with all the other sororities as well and it's been like that for a very long time. We made it a point to have at least one mixer with each other sorority and fraternity per semester. (It is a relatively small greek school). Try something small at first.. like a "Game Night" or Pool Tournament on campus (if your campus has the facilities). Or just go to a campus event together with the other group, like "tail-gating" before a football game.
I hope this helped!
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