Quote:
Originally posted by thesweetestone
What I'm saying is I think you raise your children at home and when they are out in public that's the time that all your hard work training them should shine through. Meaning they should already know how to act when they get in public. What I'm see in some parents is spanking but not teaching. When I was younger I got spanked too, but my parent always kinda let me know why I'm was getting spanked. It was a lesson in it. You should learn form this. I think more than one method should be used. Spanking seems like a easy way out for the parents. When sometimes teachng is really needed.
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And I agree with you TOTALLY, Sweetestone!!! I'm sure that any "good and loving" parent does not just wake up and say that they are going to spank their child or children on that day. No, it doesn't work like that. What I'M saying is that ATLEAST 90% of the time, although you TEACH them and you EXEMPLIFY the behaviors that you expect from them, children will STILL test you. That's a FACT!!!! I AM a mother and I KNOW it to be true. It's like someone said earlier, it's in their nature to do. But it is our responsibility as PARENTS to set limits and to be consistent. Now I'm not saying that spanking is the ONLY form of discipline. In my home, spankings are ONLY the result of EXTEME and CONTINUAL inappropriate behavior. And THAT'S after SEVERAL warnings and attempts at other forms of discipline. And to be quite honest, my husband and I don't WANT to result to spankings. Hey, we work all day, we get tired, and we don't want to be bothered with doing the task. It takes a lot of TIME and ENERGY to "cut butt".
BUT it WILL be done IF NEEDED and my children KNOW and UNDERSTAND that.
I've explained to my 8-year-old that I don't just "all of a sudden" CHOOSE to spank her. SHE has control over that by how she behaves and the EXTENT of that behavior. Both of my children are what others may consider to be "good" children...but they are by NO MEANS perfect. I know this because I GAVE BIRTH to them, I LIVE with them, and I KNOW them.
I'm sorry, but my husband and I have to HAVE and MAINTAIN a certain amount of CONTROL within our home. Whenever any discipline results in a spanking, we don't hit them all in the back or head or whatnot. No, we go STRICTLY for the BUTT!!! We don't use all kinds of extension cords, paddles, and whatnot...NOTHING like how my husband and I were raised. We use a small belt or our hands.
And just so that you will know, in talking with my daughter one day, she said to me "Ma, I want to be just like you when I get older". WOW!!!! What a POWERFUL, LOVING, and TRUSTING statement that was. I cried when she told me that. She asked why was I crying. And I told her that I was crying because I don't want her to be LIKE me, I want her to be and do BETTER than me. I STILL get choked up whenever I tell or think about that story. Just to know that my child looks up to me and loves me SO much that she wants to be LIKE me. Hey, it's a BLESSING and I KNOW that my husband and I MUST be doing SOMETHING right.
