we're not allowed to say anything specifically negative when we're talking about a rushee before the whole house. someone might instead say, "she's not an XYZ (us)..." we all know exactly what that means and don't discuss it further. or, "she had some problems with ABC fraternity" (but not elaborate).
we will just come out and say it if someone's met her and thought she was snobby, rude, or something like that.
what we don't do is tell gossipy third-hand stories or bash girls for ten minutes at a time.
if someone has a real problem with a girl, she could take it to our rush advisor, or else just clue in a few people (not during the group meetings).
i think my house is pretty good about not being catty during membership selection. i know of other groups that definitely DO talk about a girl's looks and weight, as a group.
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