[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Not the same dude- this other guy is in Atlanta and we're talking daily but there are barriers to overcome. We've been talking about how we would manage things - summers in Michigan, winters in the warm place of his choice, if we end up together. We just spent 3 hours on the phone this morning. I could talk to him forever. It's always hard to hang up the phone. We are texting late into the night too- both of us having a hard time saying goodnight. We met 24 years ago. He's the only person who really knows me to my core- good, bad, ugly. He's everything I've ever wanted in a partner. A fit cognitively, spiritually and physically. I'll be connected to him in a very deep way whether we ever end up truly together or not. For the first 14 years, I thought we'd end up together at this stage of life. Then for the last 10 years, I thought there was no way it would happen. Very soon, we will both be in a position where we can possibly be together. We've been waiting a long time.

Ohhhhh, he could be that guy.

I honestly believe that people could meet the right person at the wrong time. Timing is everything in relationships. It’s like the ones that last happen when you least expect it. Know what I mean?

Originally Posted by AGDee

I was pretty insecure, clingy and jealous back then. I was so afraid of losing him. I think he felt too young to be that tied down too. He wanted to date other people and he dated someone else and then came back. Then a month later he wanted to date other people again. I was 19 and he was 20 so I get it. He will talk about how head over heels he was for me and how he has never been in a longa distance thing again because of how difficult it was for us to be apart during the summers. I might suggest we meet for lunch sometime when I'm on that side of the state again and see how it goes. He's close to Lake Michigan, where my future daughter in law is from. He lives in the town where she went to high school.

lol
You have two options here, Dee.

I think that’s wonderful that the two of you are close together in distance. How often do you talk to him? Do you talk to him as much as the other guy?

Okay, so we need codenames so we know who you’re talking about. Kind of like in Dee’s dates, lol.

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

What’s wrong with being jealous? I think we all are to a degree. My girl is both clingy as hell and jealous, but I’ve gotten used to it. But jealousy is natural I think. Being clingy is one thing, but jealousy is normal, as long as it’s not being possessive.

Any of y’all the jealous type?

Well, that depends.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Right, you’re correct. But, you can be in the world, but not of it, which means that while we live on this earth, we are always going to be surrounded by the corrupt influences of this system of thought that opposes God. I can’t do anything about being surrounded by it. However, I can control whether I’m OF it or not.

Originally Posted by AGDee

So here’s the story of ATL Guy. He lives in Atlanta- the biggest barrier.
Back in days before, when the Internet was first easily accessible to civilians, we had Prodigy, CompuServe and America Online. One of the big features of those was live chat rooms. When I was on maternity leave after having my daughter, my (now ex) husband brought home a floppy disk from CompuServe and suggested I learn how to use our computer and figure out the Internet (which ultimately led to me working in cybersecurity!).

CompuServe had CB Chat and there were channels where “regulars” hung out and chatted. I met people from all over the country on that service and met a few and made some really good friends. Around the time my son was born, I met ATL Guy in one of the channels where we were both regulars. We chatted privately a lot. I was working full time, married, and had a 2 year old and a newborn. He was newly retired from the Army and newly divorced. He had a new high paying job in Atlanta. He was playing a lot then, with his new freedom and I was very tied down. We chatted privately a lot though, talking about all kinds of things.

A group of people from the channel used to get together regularly for some wild parties. I never went because I was married with two babies. I gave him relationship advice and we talked about all kinds of things- politics, interests, hobbies, music, movies, etc. He became one of my best friends and he considered me one of his best friends also.

Summer of 2000, I got divorced. After four years of typing to each other, we started talking on the phone. He was giving ME dating advice as I was venturing into that world. Then one day he told me that he was going to be travelling to Ohio for business and wondered how far it was and if I could meet him for dinner because he wanted to meet his friend. He was going to be near Columbus so I drove down. When we met in person he gave me a huge hug and we both realized that there was more than just friendship there. We had very intense chemistry too. But he had a very high paying job in Georgia and I had 50-50 custody with my ex in Michigan. I couldn’t go anywhere and neither could he. We agreed to prioritize our friendship always because it was really important to us.

We helped each other write our profiles for online dating sites and talked on the phone and emailed and chatted online. We each had more serious relationships during which time we would limit communication to occasional email. When we were both single, we would see each other. There were a few summers that we saw each other quite a bit, including 2009. I don’t know if I posted anything about him then. I haven’t gone back to look. I might have though. We also saw each other a few times in 2011. And before that- like 2000, 2001, 2005 maybe. We agreed that if we were both single when we retired and were free to move, we would be together then. We always respected the boundaries when one of us was in a relationship though.

We talked on the phone a couple times in 2015 but he met someone around then and got involved pretty quickly after his last breakup. He married her in 2016 and I wrote it off, assuming it was done for good and I’d just get occasional emails from then on. But, his marriage is ending now. And now I don’t have kids at home and he’s retired so it is possible. But he has to finish his business first. And he needs some time after everything is settled. So we’ll see. It might not happen. It might happen. He will always be my best friend either way.

As for jealousy? It's insecurity and it's not healthy. You should be confident in your partner and know that they are committed to you.

Omg, I ❤️ this story! I hope this works out for you, Dee. I mean, at least one or the other, lol.