Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands
That’s great to hear you’re trying to establish something with a dude who knows you like that. What I don’t understand is what stopped y’all from getting together 24 years ago? Sounds like you’re creating boundaries that either aren’t there or boundaries that are easily torn down.
What’s wrong with being jealous? I think we all are to a degree. My girl is both clingy as hell and jealous, but I’ve gotten used to it. But jealousy is natural I think. Being clingy is one thing, but jealousy is normal, as long as it’s not being possessive.
Any of y’all the jealous type?
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So here’s the story of ATL Guy. He lives in Atlanta- the biggest barrier.
Back in days before, when the Internet was first easily accessible to civilians, we had Prodigy, CompuServe and America Online. One of the big features of those was live chat rooms. When I was on maternity leave after having my daughter, my (now ex) husband brought home a floppy disk from CompuServe and suggested I learn how to use our computer and figure out the Internet (which ultimately led to me working in cybersecurity!).
CompuServe had CB Chat and there were channels where “regulars” hung out and chatted. I met people from all over the country on that service and met a few and made some really good friends. Around the time my son was born, I met ATL Guy in one of the channels where we were both regulars. We chatted privately a lot. I was working full time, married, and had a 2 year old and a newborn. He was newly retired from the Army and newly divorced. He had a new high paying job in Atlanta. He was playing a lot then, with his new freedom and I was very tied down. We chatted privately a lot though, talking about all kinds of things.
A group of people from the channel used to get together regularly for some wild parties. I never went because I was married with two babies. I gave him relationship advice and we talked about all kinds of things- politics, interests, hobbies, music, movies, etc. He became one of my best friends and he considered me one of his best friends also.
Summer of 2000, I got divorced. After four years of typing to each other, we started talking on the phone. He was giving ME dating advice as I was venturing into that world. Then one day he told me that he was going to be travelling to Ohio for business and wondered how far it was and if I could meet him for dinner because he wanted to meet his friend. He was going to be near Columbus so I drove down. When we met in person he gave me a huge hug and we both realized that there was more than just friendship there. We had very intense chemistry too. But he had a very high paying job in Georgia and I had 50-50 custody with my ex in Michigan. I couldn’t go anywhere and neither could he. We agreed to prioritize our friendship always because it was really important to us.
We helped each other write our profiles for online dating sites and talked on the phone and emailed and chatted online. We each had more serious relationships during which time we would limit communication to occasional email. When we were both single, we would see each other. There were a few summers that we saw each other quite a bit, including 2009. I don’t know if I posted anything about him then. I haven’t gone back to look. I might have though. We also saw each other a few times in 2011. And before that- like 2000, 2001, 2005 maybe. We agreed that if we were both single when we retired and were free to move, we would be together then. We
always respected the boundaries when one of us was in a relationship though.
We talked on the phone a couple times in 2015 but he met someone around then and got involved pretty quickly after his last breakup. He married her in 2016 and I wrote it off, assuming it was done for good and I’d just get occasional emails from then on. But, his marriage is ending now. And now I don’t have kids at home and he’s retired so it is possible. But he has to finish his business first. And he needs some time after everything is settled. So we’ll see. It might not happen. It might happen. He will always be my best friend either way.
As for jealousy? It's insecurity and it's not healthy. You should be confident in your partner and know that they are committed to you.