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The point I was making, and that I think all of you except carnation missed, is that it feels awful to be cut by over half the houses after round 1. You're criticizing PNMs for dropping rush after being cut by those houses, but you're not considering how terrible it feels. None of you have said that either you or a daughter experienced this so I'm left wondering if you have. I understand that the "top tier" houses cannot by themselves extend a bid to every woman rushing, and that cutting early makes it fairer to the PNMs so they will visit and consider the remaining sororities. Nonetheless, it feels awful to be cut from what is essentially a beauty pageant.
Daughter has a friend who went through formal recruitment as a freshman, either dropped or only listed one house after pref and didn't get a bid. TTS said to her "Come to COB, we'll give you a bid." Didn't happen. The following fall "Come to COB, we'll give you a bid." Didn't happen. Friend goes through formal recruitment again as a sophomore, TTS dropped her, her friends who were now sisters said, "Come to COB, we'll give you a bid." At this point she was aware of what was going on, she finished formal recruitment and accepted a bid from MTS (Middle Tier Sorority.) You as advisors know the chances of getting a COB from TTS may be slim to none, but you don't know what the undergraduate chapter members are saying to PNMs. While you're critical of PNMs hoping for COBs, you aren't critical of the members who may be promising them.
My daughter had been disappointed before, with parts she didn't get in high school shows, the guy she liked not returning her feelings, parties she wasn't invited to. I really didn't need a lecture about managing disappointment, which I am well aware of from my own life. You wonder why PNMs drop. I am trying to explain that many, or even possibly most, PNMs are not prepared for the drastic cuts after Round 1 (and whatever the reason was, in my daughter's case it was not grades, she had a 4.0 fall semester freshman year.) My daughter continued formal recruitment and is very happy. As I said in my original post, I don't even think she believed she was a perfect fit for TTS, she just felt crappy that 5 out of 9 houses dropped her right away. You have perceptions about PNMs and their parents, I am trying to explain how one PNM felt. Take it or leave it.
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