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You can certainly go all the way through rush without joining (simply don't fill out a bid card at the end) and you could still COB then, but if it's known to the sororities you don't want to join, they'll drop you before then. And NPC rush rules will prevent the schools from letting you rush without counting you in the numbers. That is, the system expects that if you pref you will join, thus making quota a tiny bit higher, and by not joining, you keep one chapter at least one person away from quota. If you want this experience, you can't get it with the school's coorperation, I guess is what I'm saying - you have to play the game of pretending to be interested (or at least undecided).
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Alpha Xi Delta
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