[lovelyivy84]

OK neicy, as an example I have picked out a post you made earlier in the thread.

IvySpice said:

I can't speak for Neicy, but my ears did perk up, and I think that's a problem. Sure, we've all heard terrible things about race relations in the Deep South, but to whatever extent I can, I'm trying to base my opinions on personal knowledge and not on reputation. It's too easy to just say, "Well, it's Alabama, so of course everybody there is racist," especially since there are plenty of covert racists in the North. Other people know more about Alabama than I do, and I want to hear as much first-hand knowledge as I can before drawing any conclusions.

Now I do not necessarily agree with this post. You CAN'T rely on personal experience alone because too many people don't share it. You have to look for data that points to how widespread a problem this is, and how many people it is affecting in a REAL way. Personal stories don't do that.

But you responded to her by saying:

You can base it on personal experience or knowledge if you want but the history as well as what's going on NOW can't be erased or denied.Do you watch that news?Regardless if you're in Alabama or not, you should not be so naive or surprised to know that this wouldn't happen in Alabama.Come on wake up and smell the coffee!

Comments like "Do you watch the news" just belittle the intelligence of the person you're talking to. Telling her to "wake up and smell the coffee" simply because she had reservations about your sweeping indictment of Alabama was just as condescending. THAT is disrespect in my eyes.

Why not just point out to her the long history of racial struggle in the state and cite examples? Why not tell her what is really going on instead of telling her to "wake up?" THAT is how you reach people.

This is just one example- I am not going to go through all your posts, as there are really far too many of these kinds of comments for me to go into it in depth, but I did want to show you what I meant. It would be one thing if you told her of your personal experience, and maybe pointed to history citing distinct events but telling her to watch the news and wake up and smell the coffee just doesn't cut it in ANY argument. You can't argue on some sort of assumed knowledge, you have to point to exactly what you mean or your argument just seems specious.

Aggressive and disrespectful ARE two different things, but you are going towards disrespectful far too often for many posters. Can you see that?