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To the OP - I don't think you are being a bitch here. It sounds like these individuals didn't fulfill their end of the organizational deal but are trying to reap the benefits. I understand that frustration both from an undergrad perspective and from a national officer perspective. When I served on our national board, our insurance covered active members and alumni, so when rogue members dropped by it was a clusterfuck for us.
Check your organization's policies (or your regional/national HQ if you have one) to see what the rules are regarding alumni status and/or what happens when members aren't upholding required standards. If there aren't rules and your chapter is still concerned, consider laying out some ground rules about when/where non-active members can show up. If there are rules, then present those to the non-members and their member friends.
Good luck.
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*does side bends and sit-ups*
*doesn't lose butt*
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