Quote:
Originally Posted by ham1
Writing in from a small chapter (around 20 ideal size) at a small school in a rural area. We have some brothers who for whatever reason have transferred out back to community college or have dropped/failed out entirely. These former brothers incorrectly assume they count as alumnae because they were a part of the chapter then had to leave for a reason other than dropping the fraternity. They continue to invite themselves to functions and ask to have current brothers let them into the house. Some of our current brothers are understandably really good friends with some of these former members as they pledged together or joined together as friends but some other brothers are uneasy about the situation and think their behavior is clingy and kind of sad. I understand these guys don't have much going on but they don't pay dues (they paid their debts but obviously aren't on the roster anymore) and don't even go to our school anymore.. their only connection is past membership for only a couple semesters at most and friends they still have.
Being too heavy handed on these guys would have the effect of pissing off their friends still in the chapter, and might cause some discord in our chapter, but letting these guys continue to cling to our chapter is not our responsibility.
Am I being a bit of a bitch here or has anyone else had this problem? I know at larger schools the system works a lot smoother and is more like a machine but our school support is limited and we play most things by ear
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QFP. Yep, being a real bitch here. As has been noted, they are indeed alumni unless you are a local with some sort of weird qualifications for alumni status. If they are trying to come to events that are for actives only, that is one thing. You would be perfectly within your rights to tell ALL alumni that it is an active only activity. But overall - do you not want any alumni support? Because this is how you end up with no alumni support. Just because their lives took a different path shouldn't mean they are somehow "less" than, and it may well be that they end up in a position to do the chapter a lot of good, unless you completely alienate them. And if they are at a difficult place in their lives, shouldn't your brotherhood be supporting them? What is your fraternity about - a good time while at college, and then nothing else?