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I know it’s hard to see your daughter go through this but you are both focused on the wrong things here. I will say the thinly veiled advice you’ve received above more clearly:
Your daughter is on a small campus.
Your daughter is on a small campus with deferred recruitment- thus, ample time for the chapters to get to know pnms before formal rush.
Your daughter got dropped by all but one chapter after multiple chapters had engaged in getting to know her this fall. It’s not like she “fell through the cracks” as one of 2200 freshmen women going through fall formal rush for 10 minutes at a huge SEC school where she had no connections. Those are the pnms who tend to fare the best in COB or going through formal as sophomores. Rush outcomes are a little more “cut & dried” on deferred campus. PNM’s who are released after rush dates don’t fall through the cracks; they were decided by the actives who rushed them to not be the best fit for that chapter.
The other chapters took a good look at your daughter and passed. We don’t know why and I know it stings to see your baby girl not have more options.
But at the end of the day she (and you) needs to know that the chapter who did offer her a bid is likely her best - and ONLY - chance at ever being in a sorority on this campus. This chapter saw something in her that sparkled and made them think she would be an amazing sister. I encourage you to encourage her to spend her time and energy getting to know her new sisters, not fighting against her Rho Chi and the Greek Life Office.
Really getting to know them - not in a group chat, but sitting together in class, studying together, eating lunch together on campus, watching tv/Netflix, practicing the art of being a friend. I can’t imagine that she has nothing in common with all 40, 60, 100+ women in the chapter.
It’s easy for her to think she’s putting herself out there and trying, but as someone who served as President of a chapter, the new members who are crying on bid night (and there are always a handful in ever chapter, even the tippy top ones) are not emotionally ready to really “try” for anywhere from a week to a few weeks after Bid Day. They have to mourn the loss of how their rush went first. The girl in my pledge class who was hysterically crying on Bid Day because she didn’t get her 1st choice was Rush Chair our senior year.
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