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The previous posters gave good advice. Two other items in your post, OP, merit further consideration by your daughter: first, what appear to be first semester coffee dates and second, erroneous advice from two advisors. It appears that at least a couple of chapters had jnformal lunch/coffee dates in the fall with your daughter in order to get to know her before formal recruitment. A number of campuses with spring recruitment do this. Please keep in mind, both of you, that these get togethers are EXACTLY what COB is - less structured, less pressured opportunities for the women to get to know each other. If my guess that these were coffee dates is correct and she was still unable to rise to the tops of the invitation lists for the houses during formal recruitment, then her chances during COB (if it was available, which it is not), would not be better. She likely would end up at her current chapter. Second, two advisors providing incorrect information suggests that either the campus Panhellenic is in need of some serious PiChi/Rho Chi education OR that your daughter misunderstood or aspirationally reframed what was being communicated. In the throes of an emotional recruitment, it can be easy to hope against hope that a communication says something that it does not. If it is bad information across the board, then Panhellenic needs to look at better training.
She should give her chapter a try up to initiation. This includes everyday encounters outside of the chapter, like grabbing lunch between classes, initiated by her. If it does not work and shs drops PRIOR to initiation, she can say she tried her best and it just wasn't the right choice. That will accomplish her goal of kindly declining and can hold her in higher stead than dropping after only a few days.
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