Back in the day when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore.... (It's an old song, sorry
)
I went to college. I joined Theta. I met a guy. He hated I was in a sorority. We were serious for almost 2 years anyway. My mom hated him. She could see him for what he was. I hated her for hating him. He hated I went to parties. He picked fights over the fact that he couldn't come to a "closed" party with a frat. So I started not going. Then he moved away, I moved off campus with a group of very empowering supportive women. And then, breaking up with him was easy.
I was still a Theta and still in college. I met another guy. Our Sweetheart threw us a party and invited his best friend from home. Best friend was hot and we hit it off and started dating. BF wasn't bothered too much by me being in a sorority at first. It boosted his ego that he was in a long distance relationship with a "hot sorority chick." He didn't always like it that I couldn't come see him some weekends due to sorority obligations. We dated, got engaged, got married, had 3 kids, oh and he had at least 5 affairs. In 2009, when the recession hit and I was laid off, I volunteered to become a Theta chapter advisor. My husband now HATED the fact that I'd spend maybe 2 hours a month in a remote volunteer role. If I was on a conference call, he'd yell at me loud enough for my sisters and fellow advisory board members to hear. He HATED it when I had to leave him home with the kids and drive 3 hours to campus for a meeting (like once or twice a year). He now HATED my best friends from college (who were in our wedding) and HATED it when we wanted to meet up for drinks or spend time together. And because I hated fighting over it, I stopped putting forth the effort to see my friends and I began hiding my involvement with Theta. It was all about control and manipulation. And at this point, I felt very stuck because of marriage, finances, and children.
Fast forward. Divorced. Happiest I've ever been in my life! And now with a man who supports me and ALL my interests. A man who says "are you going to campus at all this semester? Just let me know what weekend, I'll come with you if we don't have the kids. Or if we do have them, I can take care of them for the day so you can go. Or, we can all go, and I'll take the kids out for pizza while you do your thing." He's not threatened. He doesn't want to control or manipulate.
Don't be like me from back in the day. Be like the me now. Your life isn't defined by the man you choose to be with. College is for finding yourself, embracing your personal growth, and establishing the foundations for lifelong friendships. He's not the one for you because he wants you to be who HE wants you to be. He doesn't want you to grow or change. He is not the one for you.