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Old 10-01-2019, 01:24 AM
BlueBayou BlueBayou is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 65
The parties

Okay so recruitment is only 3 days. But the parties are a little longer for the first round than at a lot of schools. 30 minutes. All of recruitment was held in conference rooms on campus.

Saturday
Sisterhood - go to all chapters

Sunday
Philanthropy - Max 3

Monday
Preference - Max 2
Bid night is Monday night

Flower's schedule for sisterhood was:

Break
South
Break
West
Break
East
North

Flower came back liking them all. She said she thought she would be happy with any one of them. She did say that East and South were the most polished and skilled at recruitment. She had the most relaxed conversations with West. I could tell she liked East and West a little better than South and North. But it was really a toss up at this point. Her top three were East, South and West. She listed North last. I could tell she preferred another one or two sororities over mine. I was preparing myself that my daughter was not also going to be my sister.

Day two, philanthropy, was max 3 parties and her schedule looked like:
Break
Break
West
Break
North

Not a full schedule. She was released by East and South (my sorority). She was okay with it. I felt the sting of my sorority releasing her. But I honestly did not feel like it was the right fit for her. It seems to be an awesome chapter that I am very honored to call my sisters. But they seemed a little bit too polished for Flower's personality. And having been someone who worked references/membership selection for two years in college - I like the idea of releasing legacies early if you know you are not going to offer them a bid.

Flower said that most people she talked with had only two parties, not a full schedule of three. One of the people in her Rho Gam group was very upset that she was released from South. Flower tried to talk to her about grades possibly being the reason for the cuts. She encouraged her to go to the two parties remaining on her schedule.

Flower went to both parties. I was a little apprehensive because my "tent talk" research made me think one of her two remaining choices would not be the best fit for her. But I did not say anything to Flower.

She came away from philanthropy round with a clear favorite, West. On one hand I was pleased, because I thought it was a great fit for her. It is the place where she was most comfortable, and had conversations like she was talking with friends. She said she would be okay going back to North - but the conversations were "just not good." I still don't know if they talked about something she wasn't comfortable with or were just strained and awkward.

At this point I was hoping she would only get a pref invite back to West, because if RFM works like it should, she would be a QA if she wasn't matched when the chapter reached quota.

The girl in her Rho Gam group that was released from South - did not rank the two philanthropy chapters she attended and withdrew from recruitment.

I was also kicking myself for not trying to talk Flower into doing something about her nails and maybe put on a little eye liner. I wanted Flower to be the one making all cuts. But in reality she was doing that - by being 100 percent her true self and not putting on airs. But as a mom you do not want your kid to feel rejected. Though she was showing no signs of feeling that way, yet.

Next morning when Flower got her invites to pref:
West

I congratulated Flower - because West was her top choice. But Flower doesn't understand RFM and MRABA, so she thought I was "being weird." And I don't want to give her false hope at this point, in case something crazy happens. But I realize that she is almost guaranteed a bid to West - the sisterhood she wants.

She sounded nervous for the first time.

Pref was "nice" she said. But there was a fire alarm and they had to be evacuated at some point - so I don't think it was the full emotional presentation. I did not pref West - so I don't have the details of the ceremony. Afterwards she signed her MRABA and went to her dorm to nap. They would call people who didn't get bids. Everyone else met back at the student center at 6pm for bid night festivities.

Last edited by BlueBayou; 10-01-2019 at 02:31 PM. Reason: add title
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