Quote:
Originally Posted by Midwestmom
I’m probably stepping on many toes in saying this since I was not part of a sorority and am just going by my daughter’s experiences, but - I think we are expecting a lot from 18 year olds who are already making a major life change by heading off to college. Perhaps this isn’t true for schools like Indiana with recruitment happening after a full semester, but my daughter - despite her level-headed initial approach (open mind! trust the process! don’t listen to tent talk!) - was swayed by the other girls going through recruitment, the stress and the uncertainty. As has been said on this site a million times, the PNMs have so little control, and when added to all the other changes in their lives, it all combines to send them scrambling back to what they “know” - which is that it’s better to be popular than not. In the end, my kiddo ended up in exactly the right sorority for her and this year, on the other side, found herself talking to the young lady who would eventually become her little about this exact same thing. She told her little that it is easy to be swayed by popularity and rankings and the things that mattered in high school, but that it was time to make decisions based on other factors, such as sisterhood and involvement and such. But, as an 18 year old freshman? She did not have that maturity, which was earned through a year of experience.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that expecting the recruiting class to “rise above” might not be 100% reasonable. As a side note, my daughter ended up in her “second choice” and it was more than a little stressful for the first week or so for this mama before she declared all would be well. Thank goodness for wine. ��
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You're not stepping on toes (IMO at least), and I agree with you. I think it's more that we as more mature and seasoned sorority women realize that our experiences are more similar than anything else and *hope* that 18/19 year old women will "rise above" the tent talk and "popularity" BS, even though we also realize that this is hard for 18/19 year olds to do.
I think that maturity is part of it, for example I would guess that sophomores may be more sure of who they are, and that that can make a difference. However, the thing with IU is that the tent talk is just so bad, and it's hard to avoid. It's not a surprise to me that people fall victim to it. When someone tells you "XYZ isn't social and doesn't go out," a lot of girls don't know what to think and just take it at face value.