[gwenstacy]

Is it possible that I was more nervous going into today than I was any other day, even preference? I predicted that today would be the day I would get to know who I really clicked with, so while I was definitely excited, I was pretty anxious to see which names I got back. I had really clicked the day before with Toy Story and WALL-E, but I was really trying not to get attached in fear of feeling devastated if I was dropped by them. I thought over every possible scenario, took a few deep breaths, opened my list, and received:

Toy Story
WALL-E
Monsters, Inc
The Good Dinosaur
Inside Out

I’ll be honest and say that I was really sad that I didn’t see Cars on my list. But then I remembered that I still had my top two favorite houses on my list as well as another full schedule of great houses to go to. It didn’t take me long to remember that I was beginning to get the feeling I wasn’t going to fit in at Cars, anyway.

It also took me a minute to realize that The Incredibles wasn’t on my list, and I really wondered what went wrong with our conversations. I worried that whatever "mistake" I made in my conversations with them I might repeat with one of the other houses that I liked. I learned later that it's never a "mistake" on either side of the equation and what is meant to be, will be.

The good thing was, I was too happy about the rest of the houses that invited me back to dwell on The Incredibles for too long. All of the houses on my list saw something great in me, and I was so excited to be one step closer to finding my home!

I was hoping Toy Story would go well during the very first slot of the day because I liked them so much the day before. The room was decorated gorgeously as always, and as soon as I walked in, I instantly felt so comfortable. I had three really good conversations in this house, but the middle conversation was really special. I felt like we were talking like we had been friends for years! This house made me feel like I was genuinely wanted and loved by them and I wasn’t just a number going through the process. I was learning this was really important to me and was helping to set certain houses apart from one another.

I was a little surprised to see WALL-E on my list again because I knew how well liked they were by everyone (and not everyone can get an invite back.) I could tell my values matched up well here and the girls I had talked to before all came up to me and said they were really glad to see me back! I felt like my conversations were genuine, and I remembered how much they seemed to like me, but I still couldn’t shake that feeling from day 1 that there was a little too much pressure to impress them. However, I really loved their vibe and the closeness they had with each other, and I wanted to be able to be a part of that.

Monsters Inc was a house that I wasn’t really sure about after day 1, but I made sure to go in with an open mind today (anything could happen!) I ended up talking to a girl that was really sweet and kind, and I could tell that she was excited to talk about her house. However, I felt like we we kind of just going through the motions a little bit (saying what we were ‘supposed to’ say) and we never got into deep topics. But I was happy with how the conversation went overall. I wouldn’t be mad if I ended up with a bid from this house.

Next was The Good Dinosaur. There were surprises all over the place with this house: I kept being surprised that I liked them so much, and I also kept being surprised that I was repeatedly invited back. As soon as I walked in, I could tell they had put a lot of effort into the atmosphere of their recruitment - everything seemed really sincere. I talked to only one girl in this house but I absolutely loved my conversation with her. We were so alike in a lot of ways and she even opened up to me about things she has gone through in her life and how her sisters had helped her through them. We watched a video about their sisterhood and this was the first time in the process that I had gotten a little emotional - hearing the sisters describe how their sorority has changed their lives and seeing the bond they have with each other was so moving because this is exactly what I wanted in a house. I came out of this house immediately texting my mom how much I loved them.

Last up was Inside Out. I was happy they ended up on my list again even though I was dropped by others because I really liked them on day 1 and I wanted to give them another chance. However, I really wasn’t feeling it here from the moment I walked in. There was nothing specific that caused me to feel this way, but I continued to compare this house to the way I felt to my other favorite houses - I didn’t feel that genuine bond with the girls here that I had felt so strongly elsewhere. The conversations were a little one-sided and although it was the end of the day and we were all certainly tired, I knew for certain this wasn’t the house for me.

The day had flown by and it was already time to write down our rankings. I tried to be very logical when putting this together, but even as I'm typing this, I'm noticing how my logic didn’t really make sense. Know that it definitely did for me at the time. (Happens to the best of us, right?) Going into the day, I loved Toy Story. But a little voice in my head told me that I wasn't good enough. I didn't want to put them in my top two and risk getting hurt the next day. On the other hand, I felt strongly that The Good Dinosaur and WALL-E gave me validation, and in my mind, were more likely to invite me back. Even though I was really sad about putting Toy Story third, I knew if it was meant to be then God would make it so, and I was willing to take a chance on WALL-E because I felt they wanted me there, despite the feeling I always had to work to impress them.

At the end of the day, my ranking read:

1. The Good Dinosaur
1. WALL-E
3. Toy Story
4. Monsters Inc
5. Inside Out

After I turned in my schedule, I got to drive home and have dinner with my family and talk things out. I felt a surprising peace of mind and I told them that no matter what happened the next day, even if I opened my schedule and received Monsters Inc and Inside Out, I would be so grateful. I was so happy with where I was, and that is a great place to be.