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Hi, purple monkey (great name!)— I am not an active member of this board but I have been lurking recently as I for some reason in my old age have been pondering the Greek system.
I was released from rush my freshman year too, then pledged my sophomore year. I still feel the sting of that rejection all these years later. I liked my sorority and still like the women I knew in it very much. But I wonder sometimes what my college life might have been like if I had not pledged. The truth is I think smart questioning people always ask those questions.
But I want to address something more fundamental in your post, too. I was involved in two recruitments as a sorority member and have many friends who have been through them as well back in the day, at every possible school. I work on a campus and see people go through rush year after year and talk to people about it. What I want you to know is that recruitment is very random. Most likely there is no meaning behind getting released, or the meaning is stupid. At some schools they only pledge women they grew up with and went to the same camp with (this sounds unbelievable when people say it, but it is true). We always ended up liking who we pledged but we would have liked others too- some of our best members received informal bids and didn’t even go through recruitment. Recruitment (sorry I keep saying rush- habit) is a big mess of craziness and it’s a wonder it works at all. Some behaviours people like at a recruitment party make for not very interesting or unique people or friends.
I could go on, but I hope this helps? There is most likely nothing to be learned about this issue for you and I am sorry you got hurt. The system is flawed. I am still pondering whether I am in favor of it, as much as I loved my sorority.
Enjoy your senior year!
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