In our chapter, the littles write their top three choices for bigs down and they almost always get their first choice. I honestly wish the actives had more say in it, because "little hunting" gets ridiculous. Having a little turns into a status symbol, and people end up getting hurt in something that's supposed to be one of the best parts of joining. The girls who refuse to basically bribe someone into picking them risk graduating without ever having a little, the littles get hurt when they see their bigs chasing after the next potential little, and there's the bigs who whine about having to buy sooo many presents because they're on their third little. Granted, most girls end up fairly happy, and I probably just take this stance because my real big is a psychotic *****, but a lot of problems could be avoided if the NM mom/actives were allowed to have some say in the process.
In my perfect big/little process, I'd say do both - have the actives and NMs rank their preferences, but have a neutral party do the actual matching. Yeah, people's preferences should be considered highly, but someone should also be there to pair people up fairly so you don't have people who are upset they never got a little while others have 27.
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