Quote:
Originally Posted by 1964Alum
Mine was/is a strong recruiting chapter, as was my other pref. But here's the thing. No mater whether you get your first choice or your initial last, it takes a lot of time and working with your sisters before you establish the strong bonds we all are looking for. My strongest bonds didn't come until we were all living in the house together, and even then, the ones I became closest to were not sisters I would have initially predicted would be my best friends. Our rush was deferred for a year, which gave us PNMs as well as the sororities more time to look each other over. So a lot of the sorting went on beforehand, and we had a better idea of the "personalities" of the individual chapters before the first open house. Even so, the dynamics of each house changes at least somewhat over time, so there is more fluidity within each group which one initially might imagine. The "feeling it" IMO doesn't come in a genuine way until much later and also depends on the extent that each member is wiling to put the work into it.
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Agree. I think given how big some pledge classes and chapters are that it could be easy for the girls who are a bit shy to have a harder time or the girls who pledge a chapter filled with tons of "hometown girls" to feel left out. For some, just being in a huge chapter can be overwhelming even if they're the most outgoing person.
I think a big issue these days is the expectation that connections happen immediately. Technology has played a major role in younger people's lives and how they look for immediacy of what they want to happen since they can do so much without waiting. It's a big reason that college student counselors see so many students who begin suffering from anxiety that's been compounded for some students by having helicopter parents who did everything for them so they're not as skilled at making things happen on their own. Perhaps there's also an air of thinking that being in a sorority means instant friends - social media can drive that feeling.
I felt connected to a few girls when I pledged because we connected by being in the same rushee group, but the real sense of connection came when I moved into the chapter house a year later. Those three years of living in the house were incredibly special. I know today that chapters are so big that girls are lucky to get to live one year in the house.