[KappaKittyCat]

I've had 2 long distance relationships: one that lasted a little under a year and one that lasted almost 3. I am currently flying solo and have been for almost 2 years.

The first relationship was doomed from the start anyway; he treated me like crap and I didn't have the self esteem to realize that I didn't deserve it. His leaving allowed me to see how much happier I was without him. When he came back, we'd both changed so much that it was like we didn't even know each other. So in that case the distance was a good thing in the long run, because it helped me get out of a really bad situation.

Don't get me wrong, it sucked a whole lot the first several weeks. The night after he left, I went to a party where all my friends were with their SOs and I felt so left out that I faked a headache and went home 45 minutes after I got there. But that's where good friends come in. They called me up the next day and took me out and made sure I wasn't alone for the next week or so. I had this tendency to wallow. I guess the lesson there is just to stay busy.

The second relationship ended for other reasons which are really messy and there's no need to get into them here. PM me if you really want to know. Suffice it to say that neither of us could really handle being in a relationship anymore. The distance had nothing to do with that breakup. We actually had just as good a relationship (while it was still good) apart as we did together. We saw each other once a month and called or emailed every day. Each of us had a life.

In summation, remember a few things:

1. You are young and still changing. Furthermore, you have every right to change. If I'd met my current self when I was a freshman, I would have hated me. But now I love me. If your changing doesn't include him, then it wasn't meant to be. Furthermore, if his changing doesn't include you, then you have to forgive him that and let him go. Easier said than done, I know.

2. You have to be whole people if you expect to have a whole relationship. That means that if one of you has issues and is relying on the other one to solve them (and I'm not talking changing a tire or doing laundry here), then you're never going to grow. And you have every right to grow. See #1. The distance will bring those issues out if they haven't already been discovered. It'll make them a real problem, and that'll put an end to the relationship.

3. Above all, this is college and you're supposed to enjoy yourself! It took several of my friends all year to figure out that I had a long distance relationship. That's because I didn't spend all my time mooning over him and sitting in my room on the phone with him. I had a life. One of my friends found out when he started telling me how horrible he thought long distance relationships were and how nobody should be in them, especially in college. I pointed out that I was in one, and he said that I completely disproved all his theories because I let myself have a life. And in the end, it was the demise of that relationship that inadvertantly led to my joining a sorority in the first place (I think that my COB story is on here somewhere if you are dying to read it). I'd established a network that was waiting for me at school, so all I needed to do was take the vows.

Bottom line: Boys will come and go, but sisters are forever.