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[QUOTE]Originally posted by boycrazy
[B]Yeah, yeah...preach on... I'm just raising the question of why it's "misbehaving" to be a Playmate and why someone's membership is in jeopardy if they do.
Seems to me it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if one's National's policy is generally understood to be dead set against certain conduct one should not be too surprised if there are penalties attached to one's decision to go ahead and take these actions. I was under the impression that taking responsibility for one's actions was one of the things we learned when we gave our words to uphold certain values and ideals. We agreed to hold ourselves to a higher standard and to accept the consequences of our actions.
This was a troubling issue for our Playmate and she asked for advice. The general tone of that advice was whether or not its OK in the broader scheme of things your National is not going to be happy and you should consider the consequences.
I suppose there are a couple of issues here. Personal responsibility is key. If an action is not illegal or otherwise legitimately prohibited no one has the right to forbid you to do something. It is your decision and you must take responsibility for it. Which brings us to the next issue. If you elect to join an organization and agree to uphold its ideals, rules, and traditions then you are obligated to do so if you wish to remain a member of that organization.
Whether or not you consider it perfectly acceptable to be a playmate is largely irrelevant. Society at large has a generally held view that a woman who displayes herself in pointedly provocative photographs of a prurient nature and does so for money and/or other percieved rewards and benefits is simply stated not a lady. Now this may sound hopelessly outmoded and completely out of date and out of place in the modern world, but, every Greek woman I have ever spoken with about Greek life has used words like Ideals, Values, Womanly Virtues, Ladylike behaviour, "to be in all respects and at all times - a Lady", "to cause no scandal and to give no cause for the perception of scandal". I think all sorority women will recognize the foregoing words and quotes from open literature and publications of their own and other orgs. Nationals and their chapters have in my experience been pretty clear as to what they consider appropriate and what they consider inappropriate conduct and actions.
Then there is the unfair reality that we all wish had died out a long time ago. As my sister likes to point out, the old double standard is alive and well and has teeth to bite those who refuse to understand this.
So, the bottom line has to be that if you want to be a playmate then go ahead and do so. If you do so then don't complain that the rules should not apply. They do. Life is not necessarily fair, life simply is - so deal with it.
Side thought: On a fantasy level it's hard to beat the air brushed perfection of a playmate, and I freely confess to being a red blooded straight male of the species who enjoys looking at beautiful women. However, in all honesty I prefer to look at a real woman, not perfect, not technologically altered image of a fantasy, but a real honest to God woman. Like the guys all used to say, there are the girls you want to go to bed with, and then there is the one you want to wake up with. Part of that magic quality is that she is a lady. And, you know what? When I am with a lady its a lot easier to be a gentleman.
More side thoughts: My sister describes the whole playmate question in one word - tacky. Wasn't it Jonothan Winters who said "tacky should be a capital offence".
Wasn't it Justice Oliver Wendel Holmes who opined that "Life would be so much easier if we could understand that life is not fair". And finally, Capt Jean-Luc Picard, "I hereby assume command of this vessel taking responsibility for myself and my crew in all that we do and all that we fail to do". Then, turning to the crew, "I am confident that you will do no less."
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