Running a mega-chapter is costly, especially one with housing. Very, very expensive. In addition, the actives expect the social aspects of membership that are highlighted in those (shallow) videos. A t-shirt for everything, too. And clothes, shoes, jewelry. Oh, okay, you guys know where I'm going with this.
I don't get it, myself. It's definitely a completely different ball game than when I was an active (God was a baby when I was in college).
Hell, college is ridiculously expensive!
Stating the obvious: once more I think this particular thread comes down to the tier system. Would we be reading and discussing this if the OP's daughter (and ten of her friends) had gotten into "better" tiered chapters that they "actually wanted"? Or if there was a clear understanding about RFM and the genuine effort to establish parity across chapter sizes? There is a
thought-provoking opinion piece in the NYTimes that hit home with me, and I see its relevance to sorority recruitment and these unhappy pnms and moms. Take the time to read it and think about the implications, if you're so inclined.