[FuzzieAlum]

Just because almost every relationship will fail doesn't mean you should date whoever the heck ever. There is such a thing as a likelyhood of failure ... and not just failure ... there is the question of how much I will enjoy it while it's still going.

I mean, geez, I could date a serial rapist who escaped from prison and does a lot of heroin. Or I could date a "normal" guy who I find unattractive, unintelligent and boring. Or I could date I guy I think is cute, smart and funny. I don't think even James would tell me it doesn't matter which one I date because they are all going to fail anyway!

It's true, at 21 and at 17, well, either one of you is unlikely to end up in a long-term relationship. (Not that it doesn't happen.) I don't think you shouldn't date this guy just because of those odds, unless you are really wanting to get married ASAP. What I question is, how happy will you be together NOW?

The older you get the less difference age makes. If a 94-year-old woman won't date a "too young" 90-year-old man, I would have to laugh. That doesn't mean it's OK for a 16-year-old and a 12-year-old to date.

You are at very different places in your life. You're almost out of college and I bet he isn't even starting yet. You can go to bars. He can't even buy cigarettes or lottery tickets. He can't legally sign a contract. You have experienced life at least somewhat on your own, whereas he still has a curfew.

You both share a love of music presumably, but what else will there be for you to talk about? What will his parents think? Can you really see yourself hanging our with his high school friends? I can't imagine that other than a physical attraction (and how good a kisser can he be at 17?) and band you will have anything in common.

That doesn't make dating him illegal or immoral, but I do think it means even a brief relationship won't be very fulfilling. For that reason I think you're better off not dating him. You say he is your friend, and this could be a disasterous way to end a friendship. On the other hand, if you still feel the same way about him in a few years, then go ahead and act on your feelings.