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Originally Posted by EmmyS
I tried to post this earlier but it didn't post. My daughter just went through rush at a western Kentucky school. She was cut from almost every sorority and ended up dropping out when on pref night (I think that's what it's called) she was only asked back to one. I know I sound like every other mom but she is beautiful, tall, thin, sweet, had recs, has achievements a mile long, homecoming queen, played multiple sports and was involved in everything in high school. You get the picture. She is the girl that other moms wanted their daughters to hang with. She isn't perfect by any means, I don't mean that. I was nothing like this growing up and I have two older boys who put me through hell so I'm not looking through blinders. Her gamma chi was shocked and cried when she told her. Her friend tell her that the girls in the sororities they visited asked where she was and were shocked when they found out she'd been cut. My question is this: can she and should she ask the chapter president or the head of rush why she was cut? Her school is almost all greek and she is the only one of her group of friends that didn't get bids. We're just perplexed.
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She didn't get a bid because she did not go to the sorority which extended her an invitation to pref. She had an opportunity to get a bid, but chose not to accept it. That is a far cry from being totally cut from recruitment. She withdrew from the process. I have a hard time believing that chapter members asked where she was, as chapters have their party lists before the parties, and they would not be able to discuss it outside of the parties because of silence. I suspect her friends were trying to make her feel better, but the fact is that chapter members vote on who is invited back, and are well aware of who accepted their invitation and will be returning. Having dropped out before pref, if other chapters were still interested in her and had openings, she could have been extended a snap bid, which would have allowed her to go to bid day activities. I am sure she is all you've said and more, but the fact is, so are the other hundreds of women going through recruitment. She had a sorority which, if they invited her to pref, wanted to offer her a bid.
She should not ask why she was cut, as that is private information that chapters, for obvious reasons, do not always know and never share. If she is still interested in trying to join a sorority, she should check with the Greek Life office/panhellenic and let them know she is interested in informal recruitment. There may be events in the fall, and she can check to see if there is an organized informal recruitment in the spring. In the meantime, she should look into the other opportunities for involvement on her campus. In addition to helping her acclimate, it will offer the chance to meet sorority women who may be able to help her if she again goes through some form of recruitment.