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If it is really true that the guys care about you, want you there, and you find some of them that you care about as well, then I would stick and do everything I could to make friends, be at peace, and be part of the organization. As the mom of young adult men your age, my heart goes out to you for whatever happened that is still affecting you. That is likely affecting your view of the fraternity and school as well. You have such a short time in this group as an active, then a lifetime as an alum member. Is the national organization--their ideals, standards and history something you want to share? If so, make the best of your time. Insure that you pledge some stand up guys next rush time, be a model, be a mentor, and most of all, take care of yourself. Get counseling if needed. Hugs from a mom.
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