I'm assuming you're home for Spring Break and thinking entirely too much. MOST people have a moment, if not more, during their pledgeship where they have "buyer's remorse" - even if they got their first choice, even if they love everyone. It's human nature, especially if you have something in your life that's haunting you (ditto on the campus counseling, by the way) and making you second guess everything you do.
Lots of people pledging and getting into the Greek scene for the first time get too drunk and act like idiots. Keep in mind you are older (I'm assuming) than most of your pledge class. I would guess that there are pledges in EVERY fraternity on campus displaying the same doofus-like behavior now and then.
That small house far from campus? I'm betting that next year when you are worrying about applying for jobs and/or grad school, it will be a welcome place to be rather than Huge Giant Alpha Beta In The Middle Of Campus Where People Are Constantly In Your Face.
Honestly, I was really moved to read this:
Quote:
|
I also know all the guys really care about me. Even though we are kinda different, they have showed how much they care about me and want me here.
|
Most men don't express how they feel so eloquently or so beautifully. You wouldn't be able to do that if you hadn't really found some true friends in this fraternity.
Hang in there.
