I can probably help on this one, I didn't join my chapter until the very end of my sophomore year. I signed up for formal rush as a freshman (ours was in the Spring that year), but I was having a really rough time the week it came up. I had the flu and was having major problems with one of my best friends and adjusting to college in general, so I ended up dropping out of rush. I didn't leave my room much that week, so I didn't really know what I was missing.
The next fall, I'm living with one of my good friends and a bunch of her friends. We ended up not getting along at all (even though we lived together the year before). I didn't know many other people at my school that still lived on my side of campus, and one of my friends from work was talking about going through rush to check it out, so I signed up again. She ended up not going, but I decided to give it a try. I wasn't really into the sorority scene, but I figured if nothing else, I'd meet some more people. So I went through the first few days, and after spending time on here and on the other side of rush, I probably appeared completely disinterested (mostly because I came straight from working for 6 hours and was really tired). Plus, I was honest about going through to meet as many people as I could, which wasn't the best strategy (although it was probably good in the long run since I was really unsure about what I wanted to do). By the time the first cuts were made, I had been cut by all but one of the sororities. I knew it wouldn't be a good fit and dropped before going to pref. At that point, I got to see all the girls going to panhel pledging with their new chapters and wearing their new letters around campus, and I felt really left out.
Then, around the end of the first semester of my sophomore year, I noticed that one of my good friends in my communications class had just joined a sorority. She was very open with me and answered all my questions honestly - I asked her how much time pledging took up, if there was any hazing (and she said what I've said to anyone who's asked me since - that she wouldn't have stayed if there was, and if you look at the chapter, we're all a bunch of strong women who wouldn't let that happen ever), etc. Turns out the day I mentioned it, there was an informal rush event. I went to that, and to all the other events. I was always glued to her side (and as I found out later, she was having a bunch of problems in the chapter so she probably wasn't the best sister to be glued to when you're rushing). Plus, as any of my friends can attest to, when I'm nervous and trying to impress someone, I end up making the most stupid, ridiculous comments you've ever heard. Rush was right around finals as well, so there were a couple of parties I rushed (no pun intended) through since I had a LOT of work to do. So I know now that I probably said something dumb that I didn't mean to say to someone I met for 5 seconds, and since they didn't know me, they probably took it the wrong way, and I didn't get a bid. The sister I went to rush with told me how much certain people liked me though (I joked once about how I only came back because "Blaire liked me"), and that I should definitely come back and to make sure I met a lot more people. Well, I was pretty ticked off at the time, and I got to see all the ads my chapter took out in the paper about the new members and how much they loved them, etc., so that didn't help.
So around the end of my sophomore year, I got a letter and a calendar inviting me back to rush. I was going to throw it away, but my friend convinced me to come back. I went to one event and there were a bunch of girls there, so I didn't think I had a chance. I had to miss a few events because of work conflicts, so I skipped the next two (my friend told me as long as I came to 4, I'd be ok). I didn't think anyone was going to notice that I was missing, but when I came to the next event I could make, the rush chair came up to me and said she was worried when I didn't show up and was going to call. That made a pretty big difference, especially when I didn't know her that well. I got to hang out with the girls who I really got along with the first time I rushed, and my friend couldn't go to any of the events that semester, so they were all impressed that I came without her and found people to talk to on my own.
Friday night after the end of rush, I get a call from one of the sisters in a class I had. She was telling me how one of her friends was thinking of taking a poli sci class (that was my major), and she wanted to make sure I'd be there so he could call me. I was packing to go home, so I told her I might be in bed but he could call (I got 3 hours of sleep the night before). Around 10, there's a knock on my door. I look outside and see two of the sisters. They had friends on my floor, so I figured they were visiting them and stopped by. So I open the door, and I'm standing there half asleep, in my pajamas with my room in total chaos and boxes everywhere, and there's 30 girls in my hallway cheering. I accepted my bid that night (although they told me I could wait till I was more awake) and haven't regretted it since.
I was initiated in December of my junior year. I held an exec position (Communications) in the spring of that year, and I was elected to our first VP position before we left for the summer. While the sister who originally got me to join ended up deactivating for personal reasons, I found a place I could call home and some of the best friends I could have ever asked for. Had I rushed my freshman year, I know I probably would've ended up somewhere else. Guess the 4th time's the charm.
