Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdInCanada11
The problem can sometimes be that several new members will want to have the same initiated member as their big for whatever reason- not an option. For our chapter, there was no new member choice in it, they weren't asked at all. (Pledge classes are usually 8-10 girls, though. It's easy enough to pay attention to who is getting along.)
I liken it to PNMs going through recruitment, and thinking that they love a certain chapter after meeting them a few times. Is a New Member really going to know an initiated member after a few coffee dates? Maybe, but not necessarily. I still stand by my argument that people place far too much importance on that relationship- it usually isn't the be-all, end-all that people make it out to be, and I wish that advisors, alumnae, and fraternal education would do a better job of explaining that.
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This. I also wished there was a major emphasis on having your big is the only close connection you can have. I got a big that wasn't on my list and who never made time to hang out/get to know me. She dropped a few weeks after I was initiated. Since then I have gotten so much closer with other sisters and gotten my own little and I feel total fine that my original big and I didn't have a relationship at all.
Obviously if you guys get new members and you end up developing some type of connection with one, hopefully it will work out! But I would also get my advisor involved as well seeing that it has effective more than 1 sister. But also know that you can still have a close mentor relationship with them as well.