ChioLu, luckily it does have a happy ending.
Here is the second installment of my story...
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Day three of recruitment, Skit Day came around, and that morning sitting with my Pi Chi group in the student center I nervously opened my schedule, unsure of what to expect. The names of just two houses stared back at me: Topaz and Amethyst. I had been dropped by Ruby, but I was okay with that since I hadn’t really felt a connection there the day before.
I headed off to my party at Topaz. I really liked their skit. It was themed after Saturday Night Live and I could tell that they had put a lot of work into making it funny and enjoyable for the PNMs. It seemed like they took a lot of pride in their sisterhood. However, I didn't really click with any of the girls I talked to or have stand-out conversations, which was disappointing. I was starting to feel like I just didn't fit in here. This day was also house tours, so I got a look around Topaz. Being the oldest sorority house (it was built back in the 70s) it seemed to show its age in a few places, and it was also on the furthest possible edge of campus. I couldn’t help but think what a pain it would be to have to walk here for all meals, chapter meetings, etc.
My next party was at Amethyst. I was really warming up to this chapter, but I still wasn’t head over heels in love with them. I did talk to some great girls and found out there are lots of dancers and cheerleaders in this house, which I liked because I did those activities in high school. I also enjoyed their skit, even though it wasn’t as “polished” as Topaz’s skit. After the party I heard other PNMs bashing the skit and saying what a joke this house was, which I let affect my opinions. (Notice a pattern here? DON’T LISTEN TO WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY, FOLLOW YOUR OWN HEART.)
One thing I really didn’t like, though, was Amethyst’s house. They were currently housed in a little cottage on Greek Row while they made plans to build a brand-new house. They didn’t have enough room for everyone inside (this place was TINY) so they were holding rush outside in a big tent behind their house. They also didn’t have a kitchen or meal plan or spaces to hang out or study in the house, which bothered me because I really wanted an actual house where I could spend time with my potential sisters.
Since I didn’t have a full schedule again that day, I had the option of leaving the student center early. We were supposed to rank our top two choices for Pref Night tomorrow, so I put down the two houses I had left.
Again, I was conflicted about my feelings. I didn’t LOVE either of the chapters I visited today, but I didn’t know if that was because I was letting my preconceived opinions cloud my judgment. Amethyst had grown on me, though. I figured that I should at least wait until Pref Night tomorrow, since my Pi Chi had told our group that it was the night that often changed everything.
The next day was Monday, the first day of classes. At six p.m. that evening, I showed up at the student center ballroom to get my schedule for the night. I opened up the slip of paper. I only had one chapter left: Amethyst.
By the time I went to their Pref party, it was dark outside. A girl who had rushed me the previous day met me at the door and led me back to their tent, which was decorated beautifully with thousands of twinkling fairy lights. We started out talking about superficial things: how pretty the decorations were, how our first day of classes went, and so on. But then the conversation turned more serious. We talked about what sisterhood really meant. I watched Amethyst’s beautiful ritual, and afterwards when I sat back down with my rusher, I couldn’t help but start crying.
I was crying for the chapters that had cut me that I still hadn’t let go of, I was crying for the beauty of Amethyst and the sweet, talented, gorgeous girl who was sitting across from me telling me she wanted to be my sister, I was crying for how I had allowed myself to take a negative, superficial attitude towards recruitment… I was so unsure of what to do.
Here I was, knowing that Amethyst wanted ME. Out of seven chapters, this was the one that wanted me to be their sister. They saw something special in me. I saw something special in them, too, but I just wasn’t sure if I could TRULY see myself in this house. I think my rusher might have sensed my uncertainty. She asked if I had a difficult decision to make tonight, and I told her that this was my only Pref party, but I just had a lot to think about.
That night, back in the student center, I spent a lot of time deliberating whether I should sign my Pref card or not. Just when I was about to tell my Pi Chi I didn’t want to sign it and withdraw from recruitment, I decided that I would sign it. So I wrote down Amethyst’s name on the card and turned it in. I immediately regretted my decision when I got back to my dorm, but I decided to sleep on it.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt the same. I knew that I just couldn’t see myself opening my bid card later that day and running to Amethyst’s house and becoming a part of their sisterhood. I felt terrible because I had already signed my Pref card, but I texted my Pi Chi and told her how I felt. She asked if I was sure that I didn’t want to at least come open my bid and go to Bid Day to try things out, but for some reason I just felt really firm in my decision. She told me it was okay if I withdrew from recruitment, and so I did.
I’m still not quite sure why I made that decision, knowing that I was giving up my chance to be in a sorority freshman year, but I did. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had accepted my bid with Amethyst. But in hindsight, it’s easy to see why things happen the way that they do... But I will save that story for the next installment of my recruitment experience.
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To be continued…