dzsaigirl, don't give up! Sadly some chapters see alumnae who offer to help as someone who will want to criticize them or change things.
Send the chapter a welcome back note or a congratulations card after recruitment. Depending on their size, how about a pizza (or whatever the women eat nowadays!) party before a chapter meeting or for the new members? Tell them you want to hear about their chapter, what's they're doing etc. - they love to talk about themselves! Sometimes ya just gotta show up!
I've found when I visited a local chapter and once they realize you're not there to "tattle on them" or find their faults, they'll be more receptive! Sometimes you gotta start taking baby steps to gain their trust. Then they'll start asking you to more things. And then they'll start complaining if you don't show up at everything!!!
Go figure!
It's amazing how chapter members will complain that they don't get any help from their alumnae yet when it's offered they don't want it and alienate their alumnae from offering again in the future. Sadly, they figure it out AFTER they graduate!