Being an alum in a new area can be tough dzsaigirl. My advice is to contact your National HQs and ask them if there are any chapter advisor openings in the area. That's how I started volunteering for D Phi E, and at first, yes, the collegiate women were leary of me and my "role", but over the last three years, I have formed relationships with all of the chapters in my region, and they know I'm there when they need me
As for my own chapter, we never had great alumnae relations, but after our reorganization, we totally redid the alumnae program. The new women are doing a rededication campaign with the alumnae and reaching out for their support. They've gotten GREAT response thus far. This past weekend, I went up and helped them do a bit of "Trading Spaces" on our house. We redecorated all of the common areas (kitchen, living room, halls, etc.). It took 2 days and a bit of cash, but it looks AMAZING now
Keep your chin up, and trust me...it takes a little while for collegiates to warm up to an alumnae who isn't their own, but once they realize that you can help in more ways than they understand, you'll be their new best friend