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We had a similar situation on my hall freshman year. Quite a few girls, including my best friend who lived 10 feet across from me, either didn't get bids or got bids to houses that weren't their favorites. They were devastated and those of us who did get bids often felt bad showing how excited we were about our sororities. Eventually, they got over it. One hallmate went on to be the president of her sorority--she had been very close to dropping because it wasn't her first choice--and is a very active alumna. It worked out very well for her.
I'm concerned about the roommate and the whole "ranking" thing. She needs to get over that. The roommate should get involved with her sorority and meet her sisters and focus on that. If she's only concerned about supposed rankings, then she's got the wrong attitude.
Your daughter should not let this roommate ruin her excitement about her own sorority experience. If the roommate chooses to be miserable and sad, well, then, unfortunately she's missing out on a lot of great opportunities and time with friends she won't get back. Hopefully your daughter won't get sucked in.
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